Wednesday, January 25, 2006
what have i become?
so the most recent post on lisbeth's fruit basket has got me thinking about how much i have mellowed out in the last 9 years. 9 years ago i was a periced tatooed punk that loved to hate people. i didnt think anything mattered and i definetly wasnt doing it for the attention. Now i think i am a little too self centered and i try really hard to be considerate an not talk about myself too much. this blog, as my outlet, might not reflect that last statement, but i would like to think in the last 9 years i have greatly improved. let me give you an example: the other day a car came ripping down our street while my kids were out on the front lawn, my neighbour yelled out to slow down and i thought she was completly justified in her comment. the driver just flipped her the bird and yelled f%&* you and kept going. i was furious. i thought how can he be so insensitive, there are children here, cant he think about others? then i remembered that i had once, 9 years ago, done the same thing. i had been in that racing car, caring for no one and trying to tick people off. why? why did i do it? and the only answer i could think of was that i wanted attention. so what did i prove? i proved that i was a textbook rebelious teenager. even when i was trying so hard to break out of every mold, i fit perfectly into one. i am trying not to be disappointed with myself, because i never thought at the time that i would be on the other side of the coin. well lucky me that i grew out of it. it was just a phase just like everyone said it would be.