Wednesday, January 25, 2006

what have i become?


so the most recent post on lisbeth's fruit basket has got me thinking about how much i have mellowed out in the last 9 years. 9 years ago i was a periced tatooed punk that loved to hate people. i didnt think anything mattered and i definetly wasnt doing it for the attention. Now i think i am a little too self centered and i try really hard to be considerate an not talk about myself too much. this blog, as my outlet, might not reflect that last statement, but i would like to think in the last 9 years i have greatly improved. let me give you an example: the other day a car came ripping down our street while my kids were out on the front lawn, my neighbour yelled out to slow down and i thought she was completly justified in her comment. the driver just flipped her the bird and yelled f%&* you and kept going. i was furious. i thought how can he be so insensitive, there are children here, cant he think about others? then i remembered that i had once, 9 years ago, done the same thing. i had been in that racing car, caring for no one and trying to tick people off. why? why did i do it? and the only answer i could think of was that i wanted attention. so what did i prove? i proved that i was a textbook rebelious teenager. even when i was trying so hard to break out of every mold, i fit perfectly into one. i am trying not to be disappointed with myself, because i never thought at the time that i would be on the other side of the coin. well lucky me that i grew out of it. it was just a phase just like everyone said it would be.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

5 weird things about me

i've been challenged to share 5 weird things about myself, i'm not sure what constitutes weird but i'll try to impress y'all. 1. i used to have a pet boa constrictor that bit me once and left his tooth embedded in my finger for a couple of days. 2. i had a tooth (my own tooth) growing backwards (up in to my nose) and had to get it removed. when i went in for oral surgery all my teeth fell out and they had to sew them back into my mouth 3. i've done all my own piercing with either a sewing needle or a safety pin. this includes a surface piercing on my arm.
4. I shot my dad once. it was an accident. we were doing target practice and the ball ricocheted off the target and hit him in the chest. luckily it was only a pellet gun, but it still sounds cool.
5. i was the lead singer in a grunge/punk band once. we were named the Vanduras and besides the occasional fistfight, i think we had a lot of fun. once we opened for the smalls.
so there's my list. it is interesting to note that all of the things (except #4) that i thought were the weirdest about me happen when i was single with no kids. I have voluntarily sacrificed my weirdness for a husband, home and family. at least i'll have some good stories to tell my kids. p.s. my challenge to divulge the same on their blog goes out to seaneria.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

arid

i have forgotten where i am
my thoughts are drifted sand
far
my bearings are lost amidst ocean waves
wayfaring
the sunny sky spreading a blanket out
on my heavenly picnic
dissolve any bridge to the dry ground
but im not there
the glamorous carribean cruise of youth
sets sail
releases its clasp
and i have to go back to the now i have selected.

Saturday, January 7, 2006

in balance

reality is not seeing things the way they are. it is seeing things the way we are.

when are you converted?

today a very good friend of mine is getting baptized. he has been going to church for over 4 years as faithful, if not more than some regular members. i thought it took him a long time to decide if the church was true and if he should join. but then i thought how long did it take me? i was eight when i was baptized and i changed my mind so many times afterwards. when was i converted? what did it take? a wise woman once asked me "how does one become a butterfly? you must want to fly so badly that you are willing to give up being a catepillar. if you knew that your number one priority in life was to save your own soul, would you change some of your choices?"* this retorical question can only be answered by our own consience. our number one proirity in life is to save our own soul. joseph, you have been a great example to me today.

*takahashi

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

the election

i am going to tell everyone who i'm voting for and why. my descision is based on one thing only because it is the most important to me. I am a mother and as you all know i stay at home to be the primary care giver to my three children. the liberals want to start a "daycare program" that allows mothers to have their children shoved into daycares so they can ignore them and go back to work and pay the government INCOME TAX. conservatives want to give mothers an allowance to do with as they see fit for the bennifit of their children. the liberals say the conservatives have no morals regarding the sanctity of child care and that it is a waste of money. Harper may be abrasive, he may even wear lipstick in public but he has my vote.
The whole country is not in daycare.