Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The battle between MY worlds

I told myself that when school started I would hunker down and get back to writing.  However good my intentions, this blog post is the first thing I've done.  It's not that I'm reluctant, it's just that I forgot I had a 1/2 acre garden to harvest and I also forgot about my addiction to sleeping once I get the kids down to the bus.  I forgot told myself I'd make each of them a quilt for Christmas, catch up on my scrap-booking, help with the library inventory, renew our passports, do my husband's accounting, bla BLA BLA.
What is really going on here? I think I tricked myself. I gave myself excuses NOT to write.  Why would I do that?  I thought I loved writing?  I mean I do, it's just that underneath I see that my family is not so happy with my obsession.  They sense my detached, distant self who can't quite shake off the make-believe world and return to the real one.  I might love getting lost in a good story, but they don't.

So how can I keep good relations, but still follow my passion?  I have to FORGET the imagined world. TURN IT OFF somehow so I can fulfill my role as coherent, logical, bill-paying, diner-cooking mother.  Not so easily done, especially when it goes against my artistic instincts.
HOW do I do it?  I ask myself one simple question.
Which do I want more? Then the answer is simple, I want my family of course.  I have the strength to focus on them for a few hours at least until they are in bed.

OK so if it's 9:30 am right now, I have six hours until they are back.  I've got to CHOOSE WISELY what I do with my time.  Characters can wait, they'll still be around after I'm dead.  My family needs me NOW. (and so do my organically grown veggies.)


Anonymous said...

Same here Halli! Same old problem, same guilt, same love for my family, same love for my characters, same trouble with time.
I too head now to the garden and harvest my organically grown vegetables and cook my lovely family dinner. And then instead of sleeping I'll critique my friends manuscript - and in my dreams I'll write like crazy...!

J. A. Bennett said...

Ha! I love this, too many writers get caught up in the "I must write everyday" thing and forget their families. But family take first priority and when it's winter maybe you can squeeze in some writing with a cup of Hot Cocoa. You choose how to spend your time and if that doesn't include writing it's not the end of the world.

Heather said...

Well said! I think that's something we all need reminding of now and then. I know I sure do!

Lindsey Carmichael said...

Balance is a constant struggle for me, too. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and no matter what I'm doing I feel like I'm neglecting something else.